I just wanna feel something today...
open me up and you will see I am a gallery of broken hearts
I'm beyond repair so let me be
and give me back my broken parts....
I just wanna know today- know today- know today
know that maybe I will be ok."
--Ingrid Michaelson
We walk around every day protecting ourselves and we have become so accustomed to our shields that we no longer even notice how heavy they are. They create such a weight in our lives that we watch what we say and edit what we feel; our attempts to not to bulge behind the protective cover. At times we are so incredibly full of everything unspoken that really we feel empty, loneliness intrudes and our egos plays the "I'm not good enough" card. We forget about life and instead participate in the game, the bob and weave, the dodge and cover, the haggle and barter. When does it cease? Well, when we get our hearts broken.
There is a common misunderstanding that a broken heart is a bad thing. I am not a masochist nor am I cynical toward love. But I believe that the most valuable expressions of love can shine through us as results of a broken heart. Imagine if you had never been hurt- not knowing the pain of loss could you ever fully douse yourself with love? I bathe my spirit with laughter every single day and when I feel I am fully experiencing my friendships, being honest with myself about what I really deserve and staying present with my actions a broken heart does not seem so bad.
"I am a gallery of broken hearts," Ingrid Michaelson says, but aren't we all? This is what makes our experience so unique. Today I removed the metal from my "broken heart" again. It has happened a few times during an amazing heart opening asana practice when I am unattached to toying with the wounds at my center. I set my knees at hip's width, wrap my shoulders behind me and slide into ustrasana, camel pose. Like an amazing fountain my heart floods open, my eyes swell, and my ego screams, "close the gate!" I simply breathe deeper. I am walking through the gallery staring in amazement at the beauty that a broken heart can create- colors are smeared, lights brighten and even my pores cry with excitement as tears and sweat stream down my cheeks.
1 comment:
Pain makes us stronger and lighter on our feet, but most importantly it teaches us. It teaches us more about ourselves and others.
Life is a funny thing. Some choices may hurt a while but turn out to be the best path into the future. Other choices may not hurt at all but create angst and regret down the road. Then, of course, there are those choices that create both pain and regret. We'd like to think that we always make the right decisions but we never know for sure until we take a look back at them in the future... Once we've grown from the experiences created from those decisions.
What we as individuals need to decide is what's best for us. What will make us happy, not only now, but in the future. Hurt now for happiness later. Sometimes pain is the necessary bridge we must cross to understand ourselves and our decisions better.
Post a Comment